Letters
by Angelwings228
Summary: A series of letters that Toshiro rights to Momo after her death.
1. Chapter 1

LETTERS 04:10

Name: Letters

By: Angelwings228

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. As much as I wish I do I don't.

Pairings: Hitsuhina

Spoilers: ZERO

Authors Notes: The day I wrote this is just one of those days when you have to be sad. No matter what.

Dear Momo,

Every year on this day I write you a letter even though I know you won't get it. Today's your death day remember? Every year I leave this on your grave hoping that somehow you could just float up and read it. I know, I'm silly aren't I. Matsumoto, Renji, and Izuru miss you a lot. They come to your grave on this day too, along with the others of your company. It hurts when I have to see all these people cry for you. I feel like it was my fault that we lost you, even if your last words were " It wasn't your fault". I'm sorry that I couldn't save you. I'm sorry that I couldn't have loved you enough. I'm sorry. Really sorry. Please forgive me.

Shiro -Chan


	2. Obon

**Hello…I haven't written any Bleach fanfics in almost over a year. Amazing, right? But I was re-reading this (my God, my writing sucked back then) and decided to make it a series. Enjoy!**

Dear Momo

It's Obon today, the day where we go visit our dead. Technically, this would be a day for all of us but how can I joke about this when I see people kneeling at your grave? I've got so many things that I want to ask you. How are you? Are you doing okay, wherever you go after this second chance of ours? Do you miss me? Do you miss everyone else? How am I supposed to go on now? Do you think it's possible for me to move on? Have you forgiven me yet? Do you think you'll ever be able to love me? I wish I could hear the answers from you, because they'd be enough for me to let you go. I don't think I can do that yet. But when the time comes I'll let you go without anything keeping you back.

Shiro-chan

**So, what'd ya think? I wanna know and Shiro-chan needs answers to those questions of his. REVIEW!**


	3. New Years

**Hello, these letters will be updating superfast now, since they're only about half a page (it's scarily short by my standards so expect them to get steadily longer) Thanks to Hyourinmaru10 and mysterios for reviewing the previous chapter. **

**Cheers!**

Dear Momo,

It's almost New Years now, only a few more minutes until the next year is here. The funny thing is that I never really paid much attention to how quickly the years passed because they're so trivial to us at this point. How many years has it been since I've been here? Several hundred? And what about Captain General Yamamoto and the other Captains? The years must be simple things to them. We were celebrating in Company One's courtyard when the Captain General came to speak to me. Matsumoto was drunk out of her mind with Kira and Hisagi behind her so I asked him about the years and he just looked at me for a long time. He said: "We retrieve the lives of those gone ahead, ones that are so short or very long. These long long years have given me the time to come to appreciate the chance we've been given, Hitsugaya. It is a lesson learned." Then with that, he left me to think about that, in the cold. I think I've thought about it long enough now. I never really imagined my world becoming so out of balance with one person missing, especially you. The years will seem so much more longer and I doubt I'll ever take them for granted. The Captain General was right, you know? Death and Life is a lesson learned.

-Shiro-chan


	4. First Day of Spring

**Letter number 4 here. Note: when I wrote the first letter, I'd never planned to make this beyond a one-shot so it says he comes by her grave every year. Well, let's just say it really hasn't been that many. Two, in fact, since Momo died. Thanks to: metsfan and Toshirolovr94.**

**Fact: March 20****th**** is the first day of spring thus meaning that the New Years chapter was the start of a chronological order. It won't be random holidays and events all over the year now.**

Dear Momo,

It's the first day of spring, the second spring since you've left us. Amazing, isn't it? Two years already seems like a millennia. Abarai somehow managed to get his hands on a peach tree and we transferred it to your grave today. It's not much more than a sapling right now but tiny flowers still drift from its branches. In a few years time, it'll be big enough to shade your grave and cover it in petals. I'd think that you'd like that. You did always love the peach trees in Granny's garden when we still lived in the Rukongai. I wonder what happened to those. I haven't been back in so long, though Granny sends word sometimes. I wonder if they're still blooming. Even though we've grown older and life's grown more painful, maybe they haven't changed.

Shiro-chan


	5. Birthday

Dear Momo,

Happy Birthday! Today is the second birthday that you and I haven't spent together since I came to live with you and Granny. The first was a year ago, only months before your death day. A few of us decided before to come to your grave today. We brought a cake, balloons, everything. We were hoping that no one would be in the graveyard so that we'd be able to celebrate with you quietly. The only problem was that when we actually got there, half the Sereitei had turned out. Your grave was surrounded by Shinigami in black robes all holding some sort of balloon or other gift. I guess it's hard to forget something like a birthday, even after death. We held a party for you. Were you there, watching us? We sang 'Happy Birthday' so loud that some of the new recruits were afraid that we were going to draw in Hollows. If only we could use happiness as bait for Hollows. But did you hear us? We were all singing to you, and right when we finished, all the candles blew out, including the incense. We took that as a sign and if you were watching us, then I hope it was enough.

Happy Birthday to you.

Shiro-chan


	6. Tanabata: The Star Festival

**It's nice to have daily updates, huh? Well, it's easy for me since these are easy thing to write and such. Thanks to **_ILoveSnakes and PM Sky Shiro-chan, mysterios, and Hyourinmaru10._** Your reviews have got my plot bunnies well fed (unlike my Naruto one, where my plot bunnies have rebelled several times. Go check it out if you're a ninja fan)**

**Cheers!**

Dear Momo,

Many of us taicho and fukutaicho went to the human world. Just to visit our living counterparts, you know? Peace had settled and it seems inevitably normal, almost unrealistic. The streets were full of people and the shrines open with colored banners hanging from every building. Lines of rope looped the grounds and small pieces of paper were tied to them. It's Tanabata, the Star Festival. Remember when we wished together back in the Rukongai? I'd wished that I would be able to protect you forever. I put my all into that wish back then, when I hadn't encountered death or killing. Seeing those wishes today reminded me how seriously fragile and transient they are. They grab onto that rope, just barely able to on, and yet they do. I guess that's what you'd call hope. So I made another wish today: that I'd be able to remember you for as long as I am who I am. I'll be with you forever that way, even if you're gone. Even in my mind, I can still see that tiny slip of white paper now. This time, I promise that this wish will come true. I swear it.

Shiro-chan


	7. Obon 2

**New Chapter! I forgot to tell you guys this: right when I decided to restart this fanfic, I came across a Vocaloid song that perfectly fit this, no joke. So the story is now slightly based on that song, though not enough to be a songfic, since this idea came to me first. I'll tell you the name of the song later cause it might give away the plot…XD**

**Thanks to:** Hyourinmaru10 and PM Sky Shiro-Chan

Dear Momo,

It's that time of year again. Personally, I think we've been to you grave far too much for Obon to be much of a holiday anymore. Every visit here is special so I guess Obon has to be extra special now. You know those people who can't stand to see the sight of their loved ones' graves because they always break down in tears? And those who save Obon for the only visit of the year? I think none of us have done or felt that way. I'm sure we've cried bucket loads of tears, probably enough to drown the entire Sereitei but we've never considered your name taboo or any mention of you fatal. Instead of locking you up in the backs of our hearts and our minds, we come back to share our sorrows and happiness with you. It was a hard blow to all of us but now you're here even more than before. And still, as close as you are now, you have no idea how much I miss you now. It hurts so much at times. It really does. But then I end up coming back here and sometimes I swear I can see you sitting on the marble by your incense bow. You're smiling every time. So, Momo. Are you smiling now? Are you happy? Can you hear me? Can you feel how much we all miss you?

Shiro-chan


	8. Autumn Equinox

11/24/2011

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Here's a new letter for you guys. Next few chapters will kick off with the plot of this story (You're probably think: Wait, it has a plot?)**

**Thanks to: PM Sky Shiro-Chan and Hyourinmaru10.**

Dear Momo,

It's been a while since I came here last. Funny, though, your grave is completely dust free and no leaves are covering it. You've got a lot of people looking after you, you know. Actually, I don't think you'd mind too much if the leaves were all over your grave. They changed early this year and the colors are just amazing. I don't think I remember any other fall with leaves as beautiful as these. It looks like everything has burst into flames. The only other that's come as close to this one is the one before we discovered Kurosaki. That was the fall that i fell in love with you. It's ironic, isn't it? That's all I can think about nowadays, how hard i fell those years ago. Maybe the it'll pass once it turns into winter and all the leaves are dead and gone. But i have a feeling that it won't. After all, first loves are meant to be kept forever, even though they're destined not to be. But I never told you that, right? I never ever told you once when you were here with us. I guess it's about time now, since i wish i cold have told you before. So, Momo. I want you to know this. You were my first love.

**So, how was it? I'd thought that first love was a topic that i'd never really touched on so i decided to do it now. I suppose falling in love for the first time pretty much helped ^/^ (I know, i'm such a dork and a kid) REVIEW, MY FRIENDS!**


	9. First Snow

12/15/2011

**I have returned!**

**Thanks to: Hyourinmaru10, mysterios luv, and PM Sky Shiro-chan.**

Dear Momo,

The first snow of winter came yesterday. I could actually feel it coming so Hyorinmaru and I sat outside the barracks, waiting for it to come. It was beautiful, really, with the snowflakes falling as if they defied gravity. We watched it together until the others of my barrack woke up and came outside to watch with us. I don't remember those shingami being as happy as they were then, especially with all the work going on right now. Maybe it was the cold getting to their heads. But I don't think any of us went back to sleep after that. On that note, there's more news for you. Granny passed away yesterday night. It was in her sleep so she went on without pain. I found her this morning, still in the most outer room. She was smiling so peacefully, even though a light blanket of snow was covering her.

I think it's the first time I've cried in years.

But have you met her yet, where ever you are? Is she happy or is she worried? Tell her that I'll be fine here. I'll miss her but I'll find a way to move on. I'll have to, won't I? We buried her just an hour ago, by your side. Maybe when I die, they'll put my grave on your other side. That way we can all be together. Until then, wait for me, will you? I'm coming but it's not my time yet.

Love,

Shiro-chan

**Here it is. It's been awhile, hasn't it? Anyhow, keep reading because some good stuff is gonna happen soon. FOR REAL. REVIEW!**


	10. Blank Slates

12/17/2011

**Hey, let's get this thing started again! This chapter has 2 letters in it, and for a very good reason. So, go ahead and read it!**

**Thanks to: Hyourinmaru10 and mysterios luv. It's you guys who keep me writing!**

**Enjoy**

Hinamori-chan,

Taicho took a big hit to the head the day before. It was the last mission of the year and we were rounding up the last pieces of it when he was taken by a surprise attack. 4th company took him in last night and he just woke up not too long ago. Unohana-taicho says that he took severe damage to the head and brain. He can't even remember his own name anymore. We don't know what to do right now and the entire barrack's in a panic. He could regain his memories in a few weeks or in years. When he woke up, he was so confused. He must have seen the picture of you I put by his bedside, since he always had in his office, because he put a hand to his chest and said: "It hurts". He looked down and had this confused look all over his face. He didn't speak for a long time so we'd thought he'd regained his memories but when we called his name, he didn't respond. He did know who we were, where he was, or even who he was. We asked him about the photo, since he'd reacted to it and all he said was: "I think I might have loved her". So Hinamori, where you are, please take care of taicho. Please watch over him.

-Rangiku

Hinamori-san,

Hello, this is Hitsugaya Toshiro, jyuu-ban taicho of the Sereitei. Considering that I've suffered brain damage I don't really remember much but Matsumoto did say that I wrote to you often. She and Unohana-taicho think it'll bring back my memory. So, it's a pleasure to meet you again, Hinamori-san. Maybe I'll get to now you differently this time around. They're still keeping me confined in 4th company's barracks so I don't really have anything else to do. I'm trusting that you'll give me something to think about since I'm pretty much an invalid for the time being. Since i don't really remember how I contacted you before, Matsumoto says she'll take this letter to you. I look forwards to hearing from you.

- Toshiro

**AHHHH! This is the first time I've written a letter not signed "Shiro-chan" and it breaks my heart to do so (not really but you get the point). Sigh….i guess I'll have to get used to it. But please…for Shiro-yan's sake REVIEW!**


	11. Hello Again

12/24/2011

**Hello everyone! From now on, since the chapter with Matsumoto's letter, I think I'll add another character's letter with Toshiro's. Maybe I can end up steadily introducing them all that way. What do you think?**

**Thanks to: Hummus Sucks At Writing, disheartening, Hyourinmaru10, mysterios luv, and Akida Umichi!**

Hinamori-san,

I haven't received any reply from you yet but Matsumoto said that you'd have a hard time writing back anyhow. She looked slightly sadder than her usual self when she told me so, though I'm not really sure why. The New Year begins today and Matsumoto inhales the most alcohol I've ever remembered anyone to inhale so that was probably part of it. Ha, that's ironic. I can't remember anything but what my subordinates have told me. Since I'm still confined to a bed, she as well as Ukitake-taicho began telling me about my past. It's been interesting because it seems like I'm listening to someone else's story and not my own life. That's how I spent the better part of today, eating clementines and listening. The last thing Matsumoto told me was about this one person. She said that she was special to me and that I loved her very much. I'm sure that that's the only thing I can remember. She also said that this special person couldn't come see me now. Is that you, Hinamori-san?

- Hitsugaya Toshiro

Dear Hinamori,

How are you doing? Actually, cross that, it's a stupid question to ask. I'm sure you must have heard what's been happened down here in the Sereitei. I'm assuming Matsumoto, Kira, Renji, or maybe even Hisagi have told you. It's caused quite an uproar at any rate. Toshiro-kun seems to have completely forgotten the past few hundred years, save the important bits, and even then those memories are vague. He also seems to have forgotten that you've, well, died. No one's had the chance to break it to him. Again. But then I think we're too scared to. You're one of the only things he remembers and that seems to ground him to reality. So, Hinamori. As a soul who's moved on to the next world, please guide him through this one. I'd hate it if he were broken again.

- Ukitake

**It's Ukitake! Man, it's been awhile since I wrote about him at all. Anyhow, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! If you wanna give me a present, then REVIEW! Give me feedback! **


	12. First Day of Spring 2

**Ah, here's a new letter for you guys! It's not very good, since i'm trying to figure out how Shiro-yan should act now that he's forgotten everything. And Kira…well, i've never really written Kira before so cut me some slack XD**

**Thanks to: Akida Umichi, Hyourinmaru10, mysterios luv, and PM Sky Shiro-chan!**

**Enjoy~**

Hinamori-san,

It's the first day of spring, here in the Seireitei. The cherry trees blossomed beautifully this year and we all went out to see them since i had been released from the infirmary. I actually thought about visiting you, since you can't reply to any of my letters, but Matsumoto said that it'd be better if I didn't come for awhile. She didn't exactly tell me why but I trust you so I let it be. Are you okay? Sick or anything? I hope you're doing well. I sent flowers with Matsumoto this time, so I hope you like them. Hopefully they won't be too wilted by the time they reach you. Even though I can't see you personally, I'd like to keep writing to you. Is that okay? Just writing to you seems to, how do I put it? Well, it brings back some life to me, I suppose. I'm sorry to bother you with all my worries. You don't have to read any of these but as long as I know that these re getting to you, I think I can carry on. Thank you for being there, even not in person.

-Hitsugaya Toshiro

Hinamori-chan,

Hello, how are you? It's the first time I've written to you, right? So, well, we all seem to be doing well down here. Except for the fact that Hitsugaya-taicho still can't remember anything past a month ago. It's kind of awkward in 10th Company now, since he can't remember any of his subordinates or anything. Rangiku is trying her best to keep the people together but I don't know how well it's working. It's not as bad as when all the captains and Gin-taicho left the soul society but I suppose that any company without a captain is just a lost group of shinigami. But every day, I do feel that you're here with us, in spirit at least. So do the others, Renji, Hisagi, Matsumoto. And I'm sure that many of us have already asked you already, but just watch over us, okay?

-Kira

**A/N: So Shiro-yan seems much more familiar with Momo right? It's a sudden change, i know, but love lies within instinct as well as mind too! REVIEW GUYS**


	13. Re:Birthday

**Here's a new letter! Hitsugaya's parts are getting harder and harder to write, which is strange. I feel like i'm writing the part of Shiro-yan that's very reserved. On the other hand, Renji's letter was the easier thing i've ever written, which is even stranger ^^;**

**Thanks to: Akida Umichi, Hyourinmaru10, mysterios, L, PM Sky, and strawhat1227.**

Hinamori-san,

They tell me that today is your birthday. Congratulations, i hope your year, and the following one, will be as great as the next. Well, if it wasn't all too great, then i wish you the best of luck. Birthdays are a bit of an off subject with me, considering that i can't remember exactly how old i am. Actually, it seems to be nothing more than a way of counting years for us shinigami, who have been around for hundreds of years. I can't imagine what these dates must mean to the eldest of us all, Yamamoto-sou-taicho, or even Ukitake-san, Unohana-taicho, and Kyouraku-taicho. It also makes me think of the many more or few years that we will be alive in this world. For those of us who aren't quite mortal nor immortal, years and time are nothing more than a formality. I suppose it's the closest reminder to what might have been had we still been human. Matsumoto tells me that i've only been around for less than 200, which is considerably young. And you? You must be just a little older than me. But i guess age doesn't really matter at this point, does it? I wish i could celebrate it with you, but this letter is the best that i could do. Please take care of yourself until the next time i can write you again.

Hitsugaya Toshiro

Hinamori-chan,

God, this is killing me. The fact that we haven't told Hitsugaya-taicho that you're, well, gone. That the letters he writes to you will never reach you physically. If i thought that they would never reach you, spiritually or in whatever ghost form you're in, i wouldn't be writing to you in the first place. But i know that you can see, hear, read these. I mean, all of us can feel it, that you're still here with us. There seems to be a tension whenever one of us goes nears him though. He'd gotten over your death the first time around, though it'd taken forever and no one wants to know how it'll kill him on the inside the second time. I feel like we're all lying. He's never asked or anything, but still. It's probably smashing our consciences right now, with us trying to talk around the edges. I guess the only thing we're all waiting for is for him to get his memory back, if he does at all. It feels like the calm before a storm, the hypertension before an attack. Like we're all watching him and waiting. So, just, you know, go help him or something. Work that magic of yours, Hinamori-chan.

Renji

A/N: There you go, a simple one! PLEASE REVIEW


	14. Tanabata: The Second Star Festival

I finally got around to updating….but this chapter is in terrible quality so I apologize before hand!

Thanks to: Akida Umichi, mysterios, Mikkola, Hyourinmaru10, PM Sky, and L.

* * *

Dear Hinamori-san,

Today is Tanabata, the Star Festival. It's been a long time since the shinigami of the Sereitei have been out on something other than hunting down stray Hollows. We went to the human world today, in gigai, and celebrated. It was certainly one of the better days, the weather being perfect for once. I'm sorry if I sound a bit irritated, but really, Matsumoto drinking herself way over her head and leaving me with the paper work is a totally ridiculous thing to put up with. We did the usual, wrote wishes and hung them on the branches and then the others went off to party Needless to say, I was dragged along and never in my life have I seen so much alcohol nor confetti. But later, I ended up alone. And being lost in the human world is kind of unnerving. The human town we went to wasn't exactly large. It wasn't exactly rural either, so probably an area just outside of a city. And if you go way back to the ends of this town, there are fields. The fields are empty except for the grass and maybe a river or two. I liked it. It reminded me of home. I thought I'd hang around for awhile since the others are completely wasted and are going to have to deal with insane hangovers come morning. Around 3 AM, someone lit a fire.

It was last year's branches. They were burning them, though it didn't seem like a common custom. Maybe it was a regional or a district tradition. Normally, I really wouldn't have cared but I guess I was feeling sentimental. It's Tanabata, after all. I read the wishes, as many as I could. Many of them were similar to the ones I'd seen on this year's branches. But there was a wish tied onto one of the papers. It was in my handwriting, so I must've come here last year. It read: "I promise I'll remember her". I wonder, who is 'her', exactly? She must have been important, if I went through the trouble of wishing for it. So I found some paper, a pencil I'd had on me since earlier and wrote down a note.

It said: I promise to remember you.

I let it burn, but maybe it was better that way. I don't know who 'she' is or where she's gone or if she even knows me. She could be anywhere. I'll remember someday, though I'm not sure when. But the time will come.

On a second note, I hope your own Tanabata was much nicer than mine. The Rukongai always holds celebrations, regardless of district. May all your wishes come true, Hinamori-san.

-Hitsugaya Toshiro

* * *

**A/N:** It's only Shiro-chan's letter this time around, since it's pretty lengthy. Hopefully the next one will bring around something more interesting XD. PLEASE REVIEW. I NEED YOUR FEEDBACK.

**CONTEST:** Name the most cracktastic pairing in Bleach you can think of. I'll make a cameo of one of the ones that pop up!


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